Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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