she was so not down for the gang bang
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
