i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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