my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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