i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
should my penis look like a turkey
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
