Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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