just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
