Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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