I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
id be glad to
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
