Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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