He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
