4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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