I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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