Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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