Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
