Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
