All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
