speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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