no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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