the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
