you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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