That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You pole danced in your parka.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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