If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
