i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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