This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
