K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
