You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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