I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
