Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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