it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
