??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
