I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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