i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
