hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
