My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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