if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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