is your mom at the bar?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm too high and old for this...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
