I'm drive I can fine osifer
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
