idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
