Michael Bay diarrhea
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
