I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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