This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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