our cab driver is having phone sex.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
