the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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