well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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