I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
