I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
