sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
