Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
