the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
