By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
