Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
