Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
