I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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