and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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