Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
