I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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