The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
