i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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