He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
