i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
