you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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