Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
