the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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