Me too!
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
