I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
