everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
