This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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