Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
