I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
