so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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