brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
