I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
