If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
