you guys were way drunker than both of me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
